The journey for us is an inner journey. It’s that soft, quiet yet ever so powerful voice. It’s our soul speaking, our divinity coming through. It’s unconditional love, purpose and alignment.
“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
As we move through life we find that what is going on in the outside reflects the inside. For us to try to change the outside is just like moving shells, things really don’t change. It may look different, appear to be new, and soon it all feels the same. I know this firsthand. I worked really hard to change things after my divorce and didn’t work on myself, what I found is that I was creating the same crazy world that I was leaving, new characters, different roles, and that all ended up feeling the same. I would try to save everyone and then get frustrated when they didn’t change and didn’t want too. It was easier for me then to look to help others and not look at myself. For me grace is how it all folds back into serving me if I listen and pay attention.
“What lies before us and what lies behind us are small matters compared to what lies within us.”
– Henry David Thoreau
As I was trying to save a friend, I took her to Al Anon. I really thought this was going to do the trick, but the next week she didn’t want to attend, so I decided to go myself. I really didn’t feel like I fit in- again not wanting to look at me- and yet I heard something that was enough to keep me going. My mom was an active alcoholic at the time, and I had a lot inside that needed some attention, to get real with me and learn how to live a more healthy life. I ended up going for 7 years. I went from not feeling that I belonged to feeling like I was a perfect fit. I’m grateful that I listened to that gentle nudge inside to keep going. It was literally a God send. It gave me so many coping tools, helped me be a better mom, a better person, to move from a victim role to an empowered women, and to start loving me. The most wonderful take away was finding my higher power, spirit, my god of my understanding, my divine mother, and that propelled me on my beautiful and wild spiritual journey.
“Do not follow the ideas of others, but learn to listen to the voice within yourself.”
– Zen Master Dogen
I started to look at me, to explore my innerness, to listen, and my life started to change for the better. This was 20 years ago, hard to believe, and it just keeps getting better. My spiritual practices continues to grow and evolve, at times change, and my tool belt keeps adding new tools. It truly is a journey. I do forget to grab a tool at times, and I bounce around in thoughts until I remember. I finally realized that I’m not perfect and it’s OK to laugh at myself, laugh at life.
“Quiet the mind and the soul will speak.”
– Ma Jaya Sati Bhagavati
Meditation is a foundational practice. It brings us back to us, aligns us to our purpose, oneness, and unconditional love. It’s the tool belt that holds all of the tools. Meditation is also a journey, it really takes on a life of its own. It flows and it gets challenging at times. What I believe is it’s really about staying with it, trusting the journey, getting up when we fall, and knowing we are a beautiful expression of the pure love.
“When you decide to take on the meditative work of Consciousness, when you go deeply inside, you will encounter only yourself, no one else.”